Unfortunately, a lot of myths, assumptions and stereotypes exist about domestic violence and abuse. 

“If you’re abused, you need to stand up for yourself and fight back” 

All people oppose and resist violence and abuse, though it may not always be obvious though to an onlooker. People who are abused do many things to resist violence and to stand up for their dignity. Sometimes they do these things in subtle ways that may not be obvious to other people, as it isn’t safe for them to resist openly. 

“Why don’t people just leave? It’s simple”

Neglect, violence and abuse are life-altering, terrorizing behaviours. Leaving an abusive relationship can be very difficult, and it can also be dangerous. People who use abuse can also continue to try to control their partners with threats and intimidation and the decision to leave is not an easy one. We provide support in these situations.

“Abuse doesn’t happen in nice neighbourhoods” 

Unfortunately, when people think abuse doesn’t happen on their street or within their neighbourhood, they are misinformed. Abuse happens in every community. 

“I’m not sure if what happened is technically abuse”

People usually have instincts or gut reactions that tell them that they are not being treated respectfully in a relationship. We help them put words to these feelings and to identify if they are being abused. If a person is continuing to be stalked, intimidated or abused we support them in these situations. 

“That person can’t be abusive – they seem so nice.”

Abusive behavior is almost always deliberate and planned. Often people who use abuse will be careful not to show this behaviour to others.

“People who abuse never change”

People who use abuse can choose to change their behaviour. 

“Stress must have caused them to lose control.” 

Abusive behavior is almost always deliberate and planned. Often people who use abuse will be careful not to show this behaviour to others.

“The relationship started out fine. What happened?”

Often people treat their partners well at the start of relationships and become abusive later on.  

“If they haven’t hit you, it can’t be that bad”   

There are many forms of abuse, not just physical violence. All forms of abuse lead to suffering and harm. This includes emotional, verbal, financial, technological, physical, cultural and sexual abuse.

“People from ‘broken homes’ are more susceptible to abuse” 

While there are some risk factors for violence and abuse, it can happen to anyone regardless of their upbringing. People who have experienced abuse as children often make very different, and positive choices when they have families of their own and do not repeat the violence or abuse from their past.

“People who abuse are easy to spot” 

People who use abuse come from all  backgrounds, cultures, education and income levels . They can be any age.

“Men are the perpetrators”

 While most perpetrators of violence and abuse are male and most victims are female, people of any gender can be victims or perpetrators of abuse.

“Women are the victims”

 While most perpetrators of violence and abuse are male and most victims are female, people of any gender may be victims or perpetrators of abuse.

“Abuse only happens to a certain type of person”   

Abuse can happen to anyone, no matter how strong, intelligent, educated, capable, resilient or successful they are. Abuse happens across all ages, cultures, income and educational levels.

“Abuse only happens in male-female relationships”

Abuse can happen to anyone – in all kinds of intimate relationships, including LGBTQ relationships.